7:45- Diaper change. Poop. Baby hand in poop. Redirect hands, baby foot in poop. Hogtie baby (not really). Poop removal. Doorbell rings. Throw onesie on baby.
7:53- Answer door hold half-dressed baby. Give directions to employee. Phone rings, try to answer but it disconnects. Finish giving directions.
7:56- Disinfect changing table. Finish dressing baby.
8:00- Call disconnected call back. Get updates from second employee. Redirect baby from dog bowl 6 times.
8:12- Carry baby into office, grab laptop, carry baby and laptop into living room. Baby spits up on self, Mom, and laptop. Wipe down baby then laptop, forget about spit up on self.
8:17- Redirect baby from dog bowl. Reply to email. Redirect baby from lamp. Write quote. Redirect baby from power cord. Finish writing quote. Baby is eating fur. Remove fur from mouth. Baby tantrum. Office phone rings. Answer phone with crying baby sitting on the floor. Get updates from customer. Redirect baby from dog bowl.
8:26- Baby crawls down the hall, contentedly sits in front of mirror to look at himself. Bring laptop into hallway and sit next to him. Finish sending emails.
8:37- Relocation back to living room. Baby is playing with a toy. Check voicemail on office phone. Baby is playing with a shoe. Order supplies for upcoming job. Baby is playing with office phone. Office phone is ringing. Remove phone from baby (cries) and apologize to whoever baby just called.
8:45- Time for baby’s nap. Sit and rock him for 15 minutes. Put baby in crib.
9:02- Make 2 chicken salad sandwiches. While eating, notice something white on shirt – discover it’s not chicken salad. Create invoices. Answer phone – sales call.
9:32- Baby is awake. Pick him up and snuggle him for a bit while he wakes up. He yawns, rubs his eyes, giggles, and spits up on self and Mom. Clean up baby and self. Redirect baby from dog bowl. Text MIL for reinforcements.

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