Tag: funny

The Post Office

In an attempt to get back into blogging regularly, I offer to you a story of my 45 minutes at the post office. I typically avoid going to the post office, because the experience is usually full of the following elements:

  • Poor Customer Service
  • Germs
  • Chaos
  • Confusion
  • Lines
  • Annoyed People
  • General Frustration

Today was no exception. (more…)

To Tyler, with (multicolored) love

IMG_8178My nephew, Tyler, is 6, and I love him dearly. He’s bright, witty, spunky, hilarious, and immensely creative. In December 2010, Tyler, my sister, my mom, and myself were in the car driving to the cabin…

Sister- Did we remember cold medicine?

Me- Nope, do we need it?

Tyler- <Giant Burp> There’s some cold medicine for ya!

He loves fishing, hunting, swimming, soccer, school, and reading. He loves his Mom, Papa, Mimi, and Tia (that’s me!). He still wears the shark hat I knit him two years ago. He’s also a born philosopher. When he was just barely 3, he told me-

Tia, I don’t love you very often, but I love you a lot.

IMG_8331-1024x764At Christmas, Tyler insists on picking out gifts from him to the family. This year he gave me a skein of Red Heart with Love Multis. I know exactly why he chose it- it’s bright, cheery, and the colors are absolutely ones I’m drawn to. But knitting with highly variegated yarn is absolutely not my forte, so this little skein presented me with a challenge.

My first attempt was well thought out and planned. Through r/knitting I learned about Planned Pooling – planning out how the colors in your yarn will present themselves as you knit, creating neat patterns in your finished object. First you knit up a swatch of your yarn using whatever size needles you’re planning on using for the finished object. Then you go to PlannedPooling.com (a brilliant little site, really), and plug into the website how many colors are in your skein, and how many stitches are in each color (on average throughout your swatch). I plugged in my numbers and came up with this cool, bright argyle pattern.

20130225-112033Unfortunately, no matter what I did, my colors just wouldn’t align the way they were supposed to. I cast on, knit, and frogged it 5 or 6 times. I kept tweaking things- maybe I need to recount, or try different sized needles, or knit a little looser… Nothing worked. I finally decided that this skein of yarn did not want its pooling planned, and I gave up. For weeks the multicolored skein sat at the bottom of a glass bowl, covered by bags from WEBS full of single-color yarns. Easy yarns. Yarns that didn’t need plans, they could just be knit!

A couple weeks ago, an idea began to germinate while browsing once again through r/knitting. I found Ravelry user dizzymisslibby‘s Josephine Shawl – and it was gorgeous! What a simple idea… use a highly variegated yarn striped with a natural… so simple and such a beautiful result! The natural color breaks up the brightness and highlights the beauty of the colors in the variegated yarn. Okay, so the method was clear, but what to actually knit? I wanted to make something for Tyler out of this yarn, and a triangular shawl wasn’t going to work.

IMG_8334-1024x1024It wasn’t until this past weekend that I found the perfect pattern. I’m not going to tell you what it is until it’s finished. I will say it’s a surprisingly simple pattern, with a really neat construction. It needs to be washable, so acrylic yarn is a perfect choice. And it looks great with multicolored and natural stripes. Oh, and it’s long…. very, very long.

Once it’s finished I’ll upload more pictures and link to the pattern. You’re going to want to make one for yourself! I want to make more!

 

I’m so excited to give this to you, Tyler Boo! I hope you love it.
With multicolored love,
Tia

Today I almost fell into a trashcan

My attempts at work productivity were being thwarted by the fact that my office was a mess. I’ve been feeling this way all week, and at approximately 9:32 this morning, the feeling overwhelmed me to the point that I stopped all work and started rearranging everything. All papers to be sorted in a “SORT ME” box, wipe down the desk with Pledge, vacuum up some cat fur, put all yarn leftovers on the ironing board… and why don’t I rearrange all the furniture and move the bookshelf from the bedroom into the office so I have more storage?

IMG_8305-764x1024It was while I was reconnecting all my USB cables that the incident occurred. I had bent over to pick up the last cord, when I tipped backward just a little too much, and my bum was greeted by a little teal trashcan, precariously standing directly in my path. Luckily I was able to grab onto the bookshelf before I fell into the trashcan, but a very peculiar thing had already happened…

The sensation of the back of my legs hitting the edge of the trashcan had triggered memories of being a kid and peeing in a bucket… You see, a bucket is very useful when you have kids. It can be a sand castle maker, a robot head, a puke receptacle, a portable toilet… the list goes on. My family had lots of buckets, and apparently I have vivid memories of peeing in them… Peeing in a bucket during fishing trips in Papa’s “aluminum can boat” when I didn’t want to jump in the lake… Peeing in a bucket in the back of someone’s truck at Mardi Gras – it was cold so I was bundled up, but then I had to coordinate standing in the back of the truck, undoing all my layers, and then balance on the bucket so that I neither fell in or fall off and tip the bucket over.

Of course it’s not about peeing in the bucket that makes those memories fond ones. They’re times with family and friends, good food and music, lots of noise and laughter. And I don’t care how I keep those memories vivid and fresh, they’re warm and wonderful, and I appreciate anything that triggers happy times with family and friends.

Thanks, little teal trashcan, for some really good memories today. :)

When your cat reacts unexpectedly to sedatives

I think that, somewhere internally, I knew that the process involved in moving cross-country would inevitably involve some trial and error and result in me learning many things about myself and others that I did not know.

I did not, however, plan to stay up for hours with a cat who was completely tripping out, unsuccessfully trying to shush him, while a house full of people tried to sleep.

Tau, my orange kitten who is exactly the opposite of Lion (what his name means), gets extremely anxious in the car. When he’s in the car, his meow begins to sound like a Beagle’s howl… a non-stopping, shrill Beagle howl. If in his crate, he thrashes around and continually smashes his head up against the sides. If out of his crate (and I only tried this once…), he proceeds to crawl to the top of my head, lodge his nails into my skull, and his Beagle howl turns into more of a fire siren, so that the whole world understands the awful situation he is in.

Knowing this, and knowing that I have to drive from Orlando to Austin, I called the vet a few weeks back. I explained the situation and my desire for Tau and myself to both safely arrive to Austin, all fur and heads in tact. The vet said she’d prescribe a sedative for him, and that we’d be all good. Fantastic.

When I stopped by to pick up his sedative, the receptionist mentioned I may want to test out the sedative on Tau a few days before the move. “Just to make sure he reacts okay,” she said. “Some people find out their cat needs this plus anti-anxiety medications to really calm down. You’d rather not find that out on our drive to Austin.” God bless the receptionist…

Last night I decided would be a perfect time to try out the sedative. I was doing a final pack of things in the apartment, and as my bed was already in the moving truck, the cats and I were going to stay at a friend’s house. Car ride, new house, new smells – a perfect time to try out this sedative.

So around 9:30 at night, I gave Tau his pill. He took it well, then had some water and a piece of cheese as a treat. About 30 minutes later, it had kicked in slightly, and his coordination began to be impaired as he chased around his catnip mouse. It was mostly hilarious- he seemed to be enjoying himself, and it was rather funny to watch.

At about 10:30, Tau was in his crate, ready to go into the car, and wasn’t fussing. “This is great!” I thought. “He’s usually squalling by now – this is perfect!” I thought.

The car ride, too, was uneventful. He hissed once, but I had also flashed a bright light in his eyes accidentally while trying to check on him, so I didn’t worry about it. The Beagle-like howl was nowhere to be heard.

I got to my friend’s house, unloaded the car, and took in the cats. This is where Tau went from calm, slightly inebriated kitty, to completely freaked out, tripped out, hissing, spitting, crazed kitty. He hissed at everything. Me, Yuki, my friend Jon, the door, the bed, the sheet on the bed, his crate, the bowl of food, his feather toy, Jon’s computer, Jon’s closet, Jon’s shoes… In between all this hissing was a constant, low growl that occasionally would get high pitched and loud. We decided Tau and Yuki needed space to explore the room and get comfortable, so Jon and I left the room.

Upon returning we found Tau in an even more elevated state. He wanted to run around, but his coordination was completely off, and every time he fell over, it freaked him out and he would hiss. He had hissed and growled at Yuki so much that she was now hiding under a cabinet and was hissing at anything that moved. I picked him up and he hissed and spit and growled until I put him down, which did nothing to improve his mood.

Eventually we decided that maybe if we turned off the lights and went to bed, that he would calm down and lay down, too. After about 2 hours of constant meowing/hissing/growling, I finally gave up on sleep and sat on the floor with Tau. I held him, I pet him, I tried to get him to play with the feather. I fed him treats, I gave him water, I put him under the blanket (which he normally likes). Nothing even remotely worked.

To make the situation even more problematic, the house I was staying in inhabits 4 other people – all of whom had also gone to bed. So I spent the entire night sitting on the floor with my cat, trying to prevent him from waking up the house, and trying to console him enough to calm down on his own. At 7:30 this morning, I gave up any hope of sleeping, and brought him back to the apartment with me so I could conclude packing. He hissed and spat and meowed all the way until about 10am. Even after the meds wore off, he was in an ornery mood, hissing anytime something moved. Finally, at noon, he calmed down, laid on the carpet, and fell asleep.

So I laid on the floor next to him and slept until I heard him meowing again. 

The vet is prescribing something different for Tau, which I will get and test on him tomorrow. I can only hope that tonight I’ll get sleep, and that tomorrow the new meds will actually work as expected.